Work, Dancing Bottles and Dr. fish

Remember all of that "Getting a job" stuff I kept nattering on about ? Well, I finally did it. I found a job. The final process of actually getting a job as a native speaking English teacher in Korea is when all is said and done ... hellish. I decided on an Elementary School that is just south of Seoul near Anyang (Get off at Uiwang station, metro people) Mainly because it met my general Criteria and the contract was worth the paper on which it was written. After reading many reports of people who had left Korea in disgust after an unscrupulous hag won (private school) had made up some reason to fire them and as such avoid paying them back pay or the government mandated yearly bonus, reasons up to and including what amounts to child rape, the following in a contract makes you wonder.

5. DISMISSAL

5.1. The Employer has the right to dismiss the Employee for negligence of duties, misconduct, or unwillingness or inability to meet conditions of employment as set forth in this agreement. Prior to such dismissal, the Employee will be given 30 days notice. However, illegal activities or other misconduct which has jeopardized any students or staff members of the Employer, or which damages the reputation of the Employer, will be the cause for immediate dismissal without warning or time for remedy.

5.2. The Employer has the right to dismiss the Employee for providing false information in related application documents.

5.3. In addition to the above two reasons, if the employer decide that there is any reason to dismiss the employee, the employer can dismiss the employee without 30 days notice.


Ok, so point 5.1 is fair enough, protects the employer should the employee turn out to be shit or do anything nutty, also has an allowance should something terrible happen and they need to turf the bad person right away.
Point 5.2 is fair enough as well, if it should happen that the employee did not actually complete a Ph.D in supernatural physics (Completing a thesis on the Centrifugal forces and spacial Dynamics involved in Cat swinging) than the employer has the right to not keep something that is is not what they thought it was.
Point 5.3. however, is carte blanch for the employer, "I am sorry son, I don't like the cut of your job today, your fired which ends your visa and you shall have to buy a ticket to get out of the county by tonight.

That contract I left well enough alone, and went with one that was a little more balanced and a hell of a lot more detailed.


I had the opportunity to visit the school and meet a bunch of the children and some of the teachers the other day. Knowing how important first impressions are, and how conservative Korea can be I went wearing a suit and tie. This lead to a first for me. After meeting the Director who happened to have an office the size of two classrooms, complete with large meeting table. I apparently made a good impression there, so the wearing of the Black suit, white shirt, black tie was justified ... vale la pena. I then spent some time with the two women who run the after school English teaching program for a number of schools in the area. One of these women after taking a good look at me asked,"Are you a missionary?"
...
"Oh, God no!" I replied.

My tone suggested that she was about as correct as a drunk Welshman with tourett's. She said it was because they are always well dressed and clewing into the fact that she had just asked me if I was a Morman, I told her that I was missing the badge. Much backpedaling was then done on her part, I must have looked offended.
I have little to to with the Church, let alone The Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints,for a start the tittle is too long.

All said and done, nice kid, nice school, nice little suburb. I am hoping that I will be happy there.

Grocery shopping at midnight is a nice thing to do if you can, 24 hour supermarkets are loverly things. 24 hour supermarkets that sell everything from milk to the fridge to put it in are even better.

Skipping forward past a slightly boring University function for the students in Sumin's Course, The most interesting part being a Professor asking me whether I was a student from a different subject area to which I replied, "No no, I'm a trophy husband" which due to a handy language barrier exacted a response of "oh, ok." from the well respected lecturer.

Skipping to the part where it snows heavily, but melts on contact with terra firma and an evening is spent in a local that boasts "Tea, Coffee, Beer and Dr. fish". That's right not Dr. worm but Dr. fish !.

Dr. fish is actually a process whereby you place your feet in a tank full of voracious flesh eating fish which would probably have wiped out all other life on earth if it weren't for the fact that they only have very tiny mouths, and a penchant for dead skin. Putting out feet in what is basically a bathtub teeming with the little fellas for 15 minutes has the effect of all of the dried up or dead skin being eaten off of your feet by schools of little fish. This isn't for the faint hearted nor the ticklish but it is very interesting and my feet now feel quite nice.

Other Korea specials in the past week included watching a quintet of soju bottles dance the choreography from all of the most popular songs in the street. Imagine the giant green bottle equivalent of "take that" or the spice girls.

Were I drunk, the sight of giant bottles of liquor would probably make me wonder if I had been slipped a mickey at some stage in the night. I doubt it would make me keen for another round.